ISBN 0 7206 1264
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Fiction
360pp
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Extract
from Secret Protocols
Peter Vansittart
CHAPTER ONE: ESTONIAN TURRET
A child imagines himself special, the universe fining down
to his whims. At mirrors, I slowly, ceremoniously, put fingers
to my lips, hiding the extraordinary from those I most loved.
A precaution against losing that love, which would hurt like
a whip or iodine.
Like a fox, I had my domain, jealously guarded, a turret
perched above the large, rambling Manor, its thick, ochred
chimneys
narrowing towards the top. From there, like an Emperor
Earth, I surveyed the neat, disciplined park encircled
by pasture
bordered by Lake – ‘the Lady’ – and
Forest both spread under huge skies to lonely farms and, across
flat marsh, to the Sound.Tiny squeaks and patters in the roof
were outriders from Forest, to be withstood by woodman’s
vigilance.Trees, like birds, had voices: one old gardener
could hear the different replies of beech, willow, aspen,
oaks, pine
to the wind. Any tree, even when silent, had a story. Trees
had lives, thus, like animals and, with the moon aglow,
thoughts. Within each tree was a face. A woodcutter, felling
an oak,
saw a tissuous form escaping, hiding in air. Forest had
recesses hinting at dangers, questions unanswered, perhaps
unanswerable,
save, of course, by trees, questions I never asked, fearing
to be thought stupid. Words, when uttered, in unpleasant
magic transformed private knowledge to the ridiculous.
I flinched at knowing too much, instinctively wanting trees,
animals, people, particularly myself, to preserve mystery.
On days still as paint, trees might yet stir and rustle,
which, in tales, betokened presences, perhaps imaginary
though watchful.
Exploring, I glimpsed fleeting shapes and once heard distant
drumbeats, or Forest’s heart. Forest was outpost
of the giant, wooded North that had repulsed Rome. Southwards,
in
another forest, the German, Arminius, had for ever defeated
the legions of Caesar Augustus.
So often had Charlemagne’s Franks invaded Livonia
that when an uncle mentioned the Flight from the Franc,
I could
only imagine danger from a new Charlemagne.
Forest paths disappeared into fern and scrub. I glimpsed
the woodpecker’s crimson crown, the yellow of a fallen aspen.
In a clearing stood a lofty, irregular boulder, deeply grooved,
with vague shoulders. We called it Fenris’ Grave, though
villagers named it differently, incomprehensibly. Fenris? The
wolf, son of wicked Loki, fated to devour Allfather Wotan at
Ragnarok, the Last Battle, when the world shook with flame,
sun and moon perished. I see from afar the downfall of the
Fighting Gods. Heimdall, Valhalla’s watchman, had
lost a hand chaining Fenris, to delay disaster. He also
had nine
mothers, an unenviable asset, the Herr General considered.
Fenris might still lie under the dense, upright stone,
struggling to wrench himself free. I cherished my engraving
of an ancestor
clasping Thor, though Father slightly spoilt it by relating
it to an Estonian, anti-German caricature. Explanations
killed. After dark the Night Mare rode the sky. Why? No
matter.
The paths might be preparing surprise, perhaps ambush by Forest
Uncle, immemorial Bear or some Master of the Forest, bark crusted
or disguised as an elk. Where paths crossed in sudden embrace
a patch of air, peculiarly colourless, might disclose a squat,
grinning figure, greenish, unearthly, peaked face wrinkled
as a map, with a riddle, warning or malicious joke.
When snow fell, servants chuckled that beds were being made
in heaven; woodmen said that lightning created mushrooms.
Forest Uncle excited me more than lightning or Fenris.
Wars occurred because people had once been bears, and Forest
Uncle
was more real than many visitors and relatives. Bears had
actually vanished but, like Christ, might return. A cook
was said to
have been dismissed for ‘Bear Dancing’ in the
library, regarded with awe and alarm in the kitchen, as
though it were
a temple of Loki and at very least storing strange knowledge.
Our steward, Herr Max, grander and more aloof than Father,
declared that the silence of books was terrible.
In Baltic legend people prayed for deliverance from Turks,
little better than bears. Yet Forest Uncle, if capricious
as God, protected trees, birds, animals and could glisten
like
the weather-cock over the stables, which could fly to the
moon when dusk turned green. Conceivably, a prowler might
stumble
against him in darkness. He was known to have fathered
a child in a distant village, as indeed had the moon. Undeniably,
the
folk there were large, shaggy, surly. The mother had died
giving birth to ‘large claws’.
Once I saw, though never rediscovered, a tree stump, its
surface flat as a plate, reputed to expect offerings to
Forest Uncle,
and a circlet of wild violets was undeniably rotting near
by. Traditionally, he demanded the first fish or bird killed
on
St George’s Day. Under the Weeping Oak, by the Lake,
virgins – very scarce, grumbled the housekeeper – were
said to sing for lovers with dead fathers and full purses.
In Forest, silences were less than silent, shadows more
intense. Kitchen folk spoke of a lost shrine to the Lady,
washed once
annually, reclothed, garlanded, standing rigid while a
girl was drowned. Lake, wide, darkly fringed by thickets,
thus
covered scores of bodies, her silvery hazes the breath
of the dead.
Sometimes the water shuddered, as if a dripping head, scaled
and unblinking, might break surface. Further away, in the
Sound, children whispered about a snake encircling the
world. ‘Rubbish,’ Mother
said. ‘Nonsense, dear, but not rubbish.’ Father’s
quiet tones implied rebuke.
Telephone wires streaked everywhere, to Reval, Berlin, Hamburg,
Munich, Riga. Moscow? Better not ask.
From my Turret I saw the Pole star, which an ostler called
Nail of the Sky, fixed above the giant tree or mountain upholding
the universe. Once I saw, or thought I saw, a grey tower looming
above trees but never rediscovered it, despite frequent attempts.
Poems, however, showed that what did not exist could nevertheless
be real, like the world-snake.
I read of the betrayal of Baldur, young and beloved, from
whom our Baltic was named. Baldur, Redeemer, Shining One.
Watching
bundles of rain rolling in from the Sound, I rejoiced that
he had survived Ragnarok, and I strove to connect him with
those incessant in adult talk, in some Other World beyond
the day: the Umbrella Bearer; the Cripple in the White
House; the
Champagne Baron; the Reichsmarschall; the Gutter King;
the Moscow Ogre; Frau Simpson, the American. Adults were
always
busy, smiling, handshaking, whispering, allowing me to
enjoy village auction-fairs, with rickety stalls piled
with shoes,
jerkins, old spades, scythes, querns, where dancers in
broad black hats, red shirts, yellow skirts and breeches
formed
circles to croaks and squeals from queerly shaped instruments.
Youths
hitherto loud and boastful slunk into a certain tent I
never dared approach, once hearing a woman’s voice from within. ‘You
shouldn’t drink from the sea, darling; it’s touched
by sailors’ whatnots.’
Mindful of the farrier’s warning that the sky played
tricks, I watched night swirling with polar tints, iced
reds and greens, flimsy blues, billowing in masses, splintering
into whites and yellows, flashing far away, simultaneously
glimmering in our ponds.
Under certain lights, tree, water, bird, like portraits, were
about to utter the extraordinary.
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